Is this my real journey? If so to where?

“It may be when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.” – Wendell Berry

I recalled the above quote as I stared up perplexed. It’s past 2:00 AM and I know that I ought to be in bed. But I have lots to do. The time is not enough. With less than a week to my final exams, I have not read enough. I need to go through all the 6 modules. I must read and understand them in order to be able to comfortably sit for my final Post Graduate exams.

But that’s not all – I have other deadlines, project related deadlines, lots of lines of code to write; Lots of updates; lots of patches to apply and to be available to offer support whenever I am called upon.

Though I love a fast and challenging life style, at times like now, when most of the world is sleeping, I look up and just stare, pondering what to do next, for one thing is certain, I need to re-focus my life, to re-plan my next course of action. I believe that though I cannot do all, I am able to do something – to at least meet one target.

I know you are wondering why I have to be in such a fix – well, the plain truth is that I love challenges and have always believed that I can handle. But truth be told, at times, like now, I really don’t know which part to start from, which direction to take; For all are urgent and none can be extended. I cannot push my exams, nor can I push this International Conference that I am involved in, so what does one do in such a case?

Maybe it’s indeed true as Wendell Berry put it: “It may be when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.”

Is this my real journey? If so to where? As I stare into space, in my room, trying to map a way, all I hear is stillness, everyone else in the neighborhood is asleep. I honestly see no way – has my real journey begun??